Mar 30, 2005   [去年の今ごろ]

2005/3/30(Wed)

 朝は雪。パラパラとあられが舞うくらいで積もるほどではない。

また本屋

 Cocolo の本屋に行ってペンを買うついでに「くじごじ」を探してみたがやはりない。あるのは「ふたりエッチ」ばかり。こうなるといよいよ取り寄せ or Amazon という手しかなくなる。

自省

 自分のモノわかりの悪さに辟易する。状況をうまく解釈できないというのだろうか。人様なら瞬間的に理解できることもイチイチ疑ってかかるから決断が遅れたり(そのせいでネット対戦のソリティアでよく負ける)、一、二年前の出来事をときどき反芻して後悔することがある。特に後悔が始まるとどんなに高かったテンションも低くなり愚痴ばかりこぼすようになり、他のことを考えられなくなる。これを解決するには現状を打開するか、忘れてしまうかどちらかしかない、ということはわかっているのだが結局どちらつかずで、後に反芻を繰り返す。

 目下、自分の不完全な部分を改善したいと思っていても、それが忘れてしまいたい事柄とセットで記憶されていると何から改善すれば良いかすら考えたくなくなる。しかしそれではいつまで経っても改善されることはない。

夕方

 g さん、r と第2食堂で過ごすタべ。

バイト

 気のせいか、春が近づくにつれてアル中が増えたような気がする。

この記事へのコメント

gu:
雪と花粉前線、挟み撃ちを喰らってます。
ogane:
憂鬱ですね。花粉が終われば梅雨ですよ。
Starke:
ふたりエッチ買っときなさい
ogane:
ふたりエッチはエロエロすぎてムラムラするょ。
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Posted at 08:23 -  permalink -  category: 日記 -  tags: diary

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